So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
