What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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