I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There r osticjed everywhere
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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