i was rollin on her like bob the builder
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
