guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
