My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
