im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just want nice things and good sex
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
