Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
