if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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