O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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