its not stalking. its research.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
