Ketchup is God's man juice
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
