I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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