she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
