i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
