i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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