i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
