Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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