Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
