put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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