But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
