I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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