She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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