I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize