it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
