This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
They have beer where we have blood.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
