can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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