I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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