she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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