I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
