Little spoons don't ask big questions
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize