you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
