she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
