My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
