I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
