I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
