Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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