last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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