I'm going to rape someone's good day.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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