what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
