got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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