your parents love me but you hate me
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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