i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
