I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
