he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
