But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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