I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
