Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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