I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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