FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
two words...techno handjob
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
