i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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